We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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