If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
