he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
