bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
