chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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