i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
