This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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