Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
