thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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