youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
