Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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