didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
this beer tastes like vomit already
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
