never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
