i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
organizing the empties. That sober.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize