I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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