I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
