How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
