All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
