hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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