I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
