do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
