she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
