I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
