i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize