the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
