i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize