Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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