After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
