No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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