You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
