It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
