My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
