She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
