she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Someone came in the potted fern
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
pray to the hookup gods
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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