just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
