Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize