It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
