I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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