i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
