he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm always down for nudity.
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