I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
