What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
there was a trapeze. enough said
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
