hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
