Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
