I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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