I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
