i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
