Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
