may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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