matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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