what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
