Screwed.edu
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
