NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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