I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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