We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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