So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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