i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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