Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
