You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
