she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
