do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
