she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
