Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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