Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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